Canada/Toronto

Comments

My next trip, to Toronto, was a fairly routine sprout trip. Way too much driving of a 15-passenger van. Our hotel wasn’t the best because the neighborhood had more porn shops than restaurants. Some of our activities included seeing the affect of tax breaks and budget cut’s first hand at the Ontario Science Center, enjoying lengthy lines with nothing worthwhile at the end at the CN Tower, and watching animals in their natural habitat at the Toronto Zoo. What could be better than watching rhinos staring at a cage as they ponder their existence or monkeys hump plastic toys or a lion who chooses to lay down in the sun for a rest (not that the chain around his ankle had anything to do with his decision)? I did learn something rather important though: Never, under any circumstances, let a female German Co-leader who hasn’t seen any movie advertisements choose the film for the group to enjoy. If you don’t listen to my advice, you may find yourself experiencing the gut wrenchingly intense pain that is sitting through an hour and a half of “Material Girls.” The best part of the movie was the end when you realized that the pain wasn’t permanent, but there is still quite a bit of guilt for supporting the creation of such a horrible cinematic calamity.

Now I will admit that sometimes Sprout groups are interesting in public, but it never ceases to amaze me how stupid other people are. When we sit down at a restaurant and a waitress comes up to me and asks if we are going to need silverware, I wonder whether I should check to see if she got the memo that mentally disabled people actually never use forks and knives… dumbass. Do you ask everyone that comes if they want silverware? Treat my group with respect and I will clean up when they smear shit all over the bathroom… treat us poorly and I might have to think it over a little.

On the trip back from Toronto, I had an interesting experience in one of the rest areas. We were in a bit of a hurry so I asked the participants to go quickly and come right back to the van so we could get back on the road as soon as possible. The clients don’t always listen to this request, but this time one of them did. In fact, he wanted to hurry up so badly that he decided to take his penis out and have it ready for the moment he arrived at the urinal. The people sitting at McDonalds and Starbucks enjoyed their Big Macs and grande mocha lattes with a side of disgust as he raced past their table with his joystick in his hand.

My last trip was to a resort in the Poconos. With gaudy décor, ridiculously bad shows, and that annoying guy who is supposed to make old ladies feel better about themselves, the resort was essentially a Cruise that stayed in one place. It was nice because all our meals and most of our activities were right there at the resort. We did go on a trolley ride near the Delaware Water Gap. The burnt out driver’s monotone voice flooded the trolley and we all drowned in misery and useless facts. It was a blast.

This weekend has been nice because I had 2 days off to sleep and recover. Of course I woke up at 7 in the morning out of habit anyways. I leave tomorrow for Club Sprout which is the Sprout camp that I enjoyed so much last year. It won’t be a cakewalk this year though… sprout is giving me a group of 10 slow paced clients. Let the diaper changing and shower assistance fun begin!


Canada/Toronto - Canada